Lacking at the roots

It isn’t easy

Deciding that something is gone 

You get lost in the would haves, could haves and should haves 

And blame yourself for pointing at the roots 

Because it’s never about that one silly thing 

And the sad part is I know 

I know I could have been better 

But what use is better 

when what we are lacking is at the core 

Then you say something I always dreamed of hearing 

And I’m happy 

I’m so happy for you 

but then I see the situation we have dug ourselves in 

it would be so easy for me to be selfish right then 

and turn this around and maybe push the problem down the road 

Cut the branch and see if nobody will know 

but sometimes, there’s more love in letting go 

than holding onto what was and could maybe be 

If perfected under the right conditions 

This relationship would be the envy of the entire city 

But I’m not the same  

Neither are you 

and I don’t think there’s space for both of us to grow 

into what we told ourselves we’d be when it was just us and no world 

I hope that it works out for us

in our separate orbits 

Maybe someday we’ll cross paths

It will be the most rare

and magical cosmic 

But until then, know that I’ll always think of you

and this right now is what’s best for you

I love you